Engineer humor

You might be an engineer if…
(read the rest of this post for the laughs…)

….
How to determine if you are an engineer:

The only jokes you receive are through email (OUCH)

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.

Buying flowers for your girlfriend/boyfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma

If you find that you have to often explain how to use the gifts you have given other people.

Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room

In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure

The Salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions

You are always late to meetings

You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling

You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.

You bought your wife/husband a new CD ROM drive for her birthday

You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!)

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

You can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting

You can’t write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines

You comment to your wife/husband that her straight hair is nice and parallel

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects

You have Dilbert comics/paphanelia displayed anywhere in your work area

You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

You have more friends on the internet than in real life

You have backed up your hard drive

You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.

You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

You know what http:// stands for

You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys

You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

You see a good design and still have to change it

You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring

You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it

You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory

You think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep

You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)

You window shop at Radio Shack

You’re in the backseat of your car, she/he is looking wistfully at the moon, and you’re trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite

Your checkbook always balances

Your laptop computer costs more than your car

Your wife/husband hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work

Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz pentium

You’ve already calculated how much you make per second

You’ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio

Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.Chocolate

(via Internerd)